A friend recently said that I was going to “win this war.” I have received many notes regarding my “battle” with cancer. Although I understand what my friends mean, the use of war words to relate to my experience seems off to me.
I have never enjoyed war words. Things like fighting, battling, struggling, losing or winning make me feel like my body is a battleground.
I don’t see life as a battle. Perhaps that is why the idea of radio and chemo never attracted me. I couldn’t help thinking that chemo sounded like the War on Terror, where one says that in order to fight the terrorist cells we need to destroy many of the good cells as well.
I know that microscopically, inside the body,there is a whole thing going on of cells gobbling cells, and not everything is peaceful. But go even deeper in a cell (in the quantum field) and you will see space, intelligence, creativity and thought. Thought that can affect matter. And it is here in this space that I choose to dwell.
In this creative space I choose what I want to see and emanate. So, for instance, instead of picturing my T cells as a pack of wild hungry ferocious tigers eating up the cancer cells in a bloody mess, I prefer to see a flock of sweet yellow birds eating up the dark seeds (cancerous cells) and then flying away. It suits me better and it leaves less damage in its way.
In this empty space there is room for creative healing and the possibility of staying here among you, if that is God’s (and my Soul’s) plan. It is what I most wish. And if that happens, I will have been granted survival as a Grace and an act of love, not of battle and struggle. There is nothing easy about any of this, believe me, but there is nothing war-like about it either.
I am not fighting cancer. I am living with cancer, and God forbid I would choose to live inside a battle ground.
If, on the other hand, it is not my Soul’s plan to stay, in this space there would then be room for choosing acceptance, surrender and love. There would be room for forgiveness, understanding and love for myself and for all of you, beyond anything I have experienced before.
In a battlefield, if I were to die, there would be defeat. In this space of Grace, there would be release, rest, ascension.
So I call on the yellow birds and name my journey clearing cancer, rather than fighting it.
Or Dancing with Cancer, as Leigh put it. It just suits me better.
Many of you have asked about how you can support me in this journey. In January our friends started a fund (the Carrot Fund) to help pay for costs not covered by insurance. This got us through the first 3 months, but if you’d like to continue to make donations we are grateful.
I completely agree, and this is true for people who have experienced violence as well. You are forever a victim or a (supposedly more empowered) survivor. How about choosing not to be defined by the event of violence? How about simply being you, with this experience?
Hi, love what you said…to not be defined by the event of violence. That’s it.
Oh Mamae. You are beautiful and amazing. You and Mama Leigh are in my prayers everyday. I absolutely love love love your perspective. It has been so helpful to me when I’ve had to reframe events in my own little world. Here’s sending you light, love, blessing, peace, sunshine, and laughter. I pray that your greyest days are like passing clouds because your soul’s sunlight is too beautiful to cover up
Oh minha filha querida, thank you for this! You are an angel and Leigh and I always think of you! Thank you for saying this to me…it made me so happy. Love,
helena
Amen Helena……..and God Bless
Thank you Donna!
Visualizations are powerful, and positive visualizations have more power – and positive energy, of course, than negative visualizations. I like your imagery very well!
Thank you for continuing to share your journey. Your courage is admirable and my energy is with you. Much love from Utah… sending some ninja vibes (those are strong, by the way) for a thorough clearing.
Hi Kirsten, this made me smile, thank you for the Itah ninjas! lol Love, Helena
Beautiful and admirable as always, Helena! I find this to be applicable to all our obstacles in life. Too much talk about fighting and battling, not enough about loving and embracing. In the very least, this view at least helps us to be more positive during our difficult life experiences! Though I believe it attracts the strength and healing that we need.
As someone who has lived with cancer and now is simply LIVING, I love how you have expressed this. It is perfect. I will keep it and treasure your words and share them with other friends who are on the cancer journey. It is indeed a journey, with high roads and low roads, lovely rest stops, sunshine and rain and beautiful yellow birds singing and eating bird seed. Yum.
I am sending a huge hug and love,
SEA
Beautiful post. I’ve never really thought about things the way you have described them. Thanks! May you have many yellow birds.
What a beautiful post. I’ve never really thought about these thing quite this way before, so thanks! May you have many yellow birds coming and going.
Hi Helena,
I just started reading the Author’s Preface of an e-book written by Kathryn Alexander (a Gerson practitioner).
It made me think of you….
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Here is part of what Kathryn wrote:
Although I have seen many successful cases, I will relate one of the most moving experiences that happened for me. Last year, when I was teaching in Melbourne, I was contacted by a young patient whom I had helped in 2000. I had never met this patient before; we conducted our consultations by telephone and e-mail. She was only 33 years old and was seriously ill, suffering from advanced myasthenia gravis, an autoimmune disease that affects nerve transmission to the muscles. The disease had reached a stage where there was loss of facial muscle control, speech and breathing were impaired and there was extreme weakness of the arms and legs making it difficult to walk and lift her arms. The medications she was taking were having adverse effects and the medical profession could offer no more help. As she was unable to speak clearly our consultations were slow with her trying to spell the words, and me guessing until I got it right. She had already decided to undertake the Gerson Therapy and asked me to help her and monitor her progress. I did not know at the outset what could be achieved, buy my client had high expectations – and she had an inner confidence that her body could and would heal. I monitored her over the first year and then I didn’t hear from her until that telephone call, six years later. I recognized her voice immediately and I said “You can talk!” She told me that she was almost cured – that she could speak, run, swim and lead a normal life. I invited her along to the teaching group where she told her story. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room.
The enormity of her task with so little mobility was almost incomprehensible. How she did the juicing and the enemas I will never know, but she followed the therapy to the letter for three years. Her story unfolded through the questions and answers. How long did it take to see and improvement? “Not long.” She said, “after a year I could walk properly.” What struck the group was that even in the absence of more immediate improvements, the success of the therapy was partly attributable to the confidence this lady maintained by. Had she not been confident, she may have given up at the first hurdle and discontinued the therapy.
This beautiful young lady had a profound and centering effect on myself and the group. She told us how much she enjoyed doing the therapy, and how much she appreciated each day of the therapy; she looked at the vegetables and felt gratitude that they were going to make her well, and she even said that she envied those in the group who were about to start on their own healing journey. She found that the three years she spent on the therapy were her most fulfilling, as during that time she became attuned and focused which led to a deep appreciation of live itself.
This wasn’t a miracle but a story of immense courage, determination and will: courage to acknowledge the starting point and the enormity of the task in hand, determination to stick to the program, and the will to physically do it. It takes courage to face reality: denial tends to deprive you of the mental clarity required to make such life-changing decisions and the willpower to heal.
Most of my patients do not need to undertake such a program as the Gerson Therapy, but whatever program you choose to follow still requires the dedication and determination to follow it through. However, once you are settled into your chosen program the results will come, and after a period of time you will find that a subtle merging of your diet and lifestyle occurs.
Kathryn Alexander 2007 (Dietary Healing the Complete Detox Program)
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Perhaps I need to start appreciating the Gerson therapy as this woman did……. It’s not a job… It’s an adventure….
Mahalo,
Ron
Dear Ron, thank you, this is a great story! And thanks for thinking of me and helping.
If we choose to see the Gerson therapy as the path that will heal us, I believe too that it needs to be what we do wholeheartedly, with love, 120 %, using it as our path for healing, growth and joy. And it is completely possible!
Now just to share some personal stories, Upon a lot of exploring, I recognized that my cancer was very related to stress and emotional issues, which in turn has hampered my body’s appropriate immune response. My two years preceding the cancer were marked by clear obscene stress, and by my saying, every time Leigh asked me to take a break ” I don’t have time to relax and go to the beach, I don’t have time to go for a walk or to go to the waterfall now, because I need to do this, I need to do that.” So, given this, you understand how we are taking an approach that is perhaps a bit different from yours.
By the way, I do have something related to the care of my body and mind where I put my full 120 % commitment. It’s treatment I learned with the Simonton’s called Getting Well Again. It’s a great book to read anyway, you might enjoy it!! Anyone with cancer should read that. That’s my personal choice of 120%. The Gerson therapy has been supporting my health a great deal, and I use it as a support system for my body.
Once again I say that I have read perhaps hundreds of stories of people healing cancer in the most variety of ways. And a constant and common trait is that they committed and had absolute faith in their approach. So I agree completely with Kathryn and with what you are saying. But my point with my commentaries is that there is not one single approach that targets the causes and the nature of everyone’s cancer, therefore the answer to everyone’s cancer healing is not monolithic either. Thank goodness!
Hi Helena! I love your blog, and have just put a link to it from mine. I’m an alternative girl myself, and am always excited to find others who blog.
Thank you for addressing language issues. I, too, am deeply effected by language, and am disturbed my words like battle, and all the other war language.
cheers,
Liz
This is an inspiring post. The quantum healing visualisations are incredible too – I have a CD by David Hamilton (the speaker) about quantum healing. fascinating stuff. Best and highest for your journey x